The Usher
For better or worse
“We’re here with the Nicolau family.”
“Of course, you’ll be sitting on the left-hand side of the congregation. Please follow me.”
With a swagger and finesse that could only be compared to that of an accomplished performer, Will gracefully showed them to the next set of available seats on Alexandra Nicolau’s side of the wedding company. She was marrying her partner of five years, Ryan Perry. Ryan had been a close friend of Will’s since they were partnered up on a science project sophomore year of high school.
Returning to his post, Will saw a couple approach. They appeared to be roughly the same age as him. Will recognized the girl by way of previous social media posts featuring Ryan. As Will was preparing to say hello to her, she began in with a question, almost not noticing his attempt to greet her.
“Hey! You know Ryan rig—”
“We coincidentally happen to know both Alexandra and Ryan. Can we just grab a seat wherever?”
Brushing off her apparent lack of interest, Will’s alarms sounded. He had seen this kind of thing before. This was not a general admission concert. This was Ryan’s wedding—one of the most important days of his life.
“I’m sorry, we actually have a designation for shared guests of the bride and groom. Please follow me.”
Will was met with a patronizing eye roll, and her apparent boyfriend couldn’t help but scoff. They followed him, at the expense of what Will momentarily envisioned could have been a fun dance floor friendship later in the night.
It was all second nature to him. This was the seventh wedding Will had been asked to be an usher. In many ways, he felt it was an honor higher even than that of a best man. An usher was responsible for setting the tone for the entire ceremony. If one interaction went sideways, it had the potential to sour the experience of the guests and even those around them. Will treated his duty with the utmost honor.
Standing guard as patrons were beginning to approach in greater numbers, he felt a tap near the bottom of his midsection. He turned and looked down.
“Excuse me, are you an usher?”
It was a boy much younger than him, couldn’t have been beyond nine years old.
“My name is Joseph Perry. I’m Ryan’s cousin, on his mom’s side. Ryan asked if I could help usher today.”
Will’s head started spinning.
Another usher? he thought to himself, disgusted. I work alone.
Joseph began again. “So, what are we supposed to even do up here? We’re basically greeting people?”
Will couldn’t believe what he was hearing. As if it wasn’t enough that Will had to work with another usher, this kid was talking down all usherdom. He lacked any experience and was set up to fail.
What does Ryan see in this kid? Will thought to himself.
“Good luck, man. Just keep your head down and shut up.”
More wedding-goers began approaching. An older couple, presumably a set of grandparents, were shifting their walking line in Joseph’s direction.
“Hi there, we’re Richard and Eleanor Nicolau, Alex’s parents. Aren’t you cute?” the old woman voiced her affection for Joseph.
“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Nicolau! I can show you to your seats.”
Joseph extended his left arm in Eleanor’s direction, inviting her to use his support to walk to her seat.
“Aren’t you something? What a polite young man you are. Your parents must be proud.” They walked off giddily, laughing and commending Joseph for his chivalry.
Will was shaken to his core. A practice he had been fine-tuning across a six-wedding career suddenly felt fraudulent. A child a third his age stepped in and nonchalantly delivered one of the most affecting seat-showings he had ever seen. He hadn’t gotten a patron laugh until his fourth wedding ushering.
Will was having trouble catching his breath and found his way to the bathroom. Splashing water on his face and taking a long look at himself in the mirror, You’re a disgrace, he thought. Trying to compose himself, he heard a sniffle behind one of the stall doors. Will paused, unsure of what to make of it, until the sound persisted.
“Hey,” Will said tentatively. “…you okay in there?”
“Uh yeah, I’m fine. Thanks. I just need a few minutes.”
It was Ryan, through a choked voice. Will wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“Ryan, it’s Will. Everything okay, man?”
“Oh Will… hey dude. Yeah, I’m alright. Classic pre-wedding panic attack, ya know?” Ryan said through a forced chuckle. “No turning back now.”
Attempting to rise to the stakes of the moment, Will awkwardly made his way into the stall neighboring Ryan, taking a clothed seat on the toilet.
“Weddings are weird,” Will said nervously, trying to console his friend. “I’ve showed dozens of people to their seats as an usher. And almost every time, the only thing anyone ever says is how beautiful the venue is. Or how excited they are to be there.”
“What else are they supposed to talk about?” Ryan choked out through tears.
“I mean, the couple that gives them a reason to be there. Love seems to take a back seat once its moment arrives. People spend money to be here, wear expensive clothes, hire babysitters. They sacrifice their weekends. They’re invited for the couple, but come for themselves.”
“I love Alex,” Ryan said with composure. “But all this? This day that’s supposed to be perfect. That’s not what our relationship is.”
Will thought for a moment. “Love is naturally imperfect. The fact that two people end up together at all is a miracle. What you and Alex have isn’t perfect. It’s unlikely. Almost as unlikely as making sure everyone sits where they’re supposed to.”
Ryan let out a quiet laugh as Will’s words sat in the air. “Maybe you should be my best man,” Ryan joked.
“No thanks,” Will stated proudly. “Now let me help you to the altar.”



he’s done it again!
brilliant. charming. oozing with personality. a mood booster. thank u for the laughs & more